펼쳐 보여주고 싶어
꼭꼭 접어 숨겨놓은 마음이
자꾸 튀어나오려고 해
왜 이렇게 바보가 되는 거야
니 앞에 서면
그게 아니라 그러니까 좋아해
그게 다야 그렇지만 나란 앤
보기보다 복잡해서
읽어주면 좋을 텐데
모든 페이지를 다 펼쳐서
감춰 놓았던 상자를 열어서
여섯 살 동생이 태어나던 때와
열두 살 분노를 처음 배운 때와
열다섯 남겨졌다는 두려움과
그리고 열여덟 가슴 벅찼던 꿈
넌 무슨 얘길 할까
잠들지 마 아 아 아
읽어줘 낯설다고 생각할까
고갤 돌리지 마 아 아 아
나를 봐줘 불쌍하게 보려나
너에게 건네는 한 마디가
수백 가지 말 중에 고르고 골라서
수만가지 맘들이 얽히고설켜
그나마 가장 그럴듯한
하나란 걸 알까
넌 열어보려고도 하지 않잖아
나라는 책
들여다보려고도 하지 않잖아
나라는 책
표지만 힐끗 볼 뿐이잖아
읽어주면 좋을 텐데
모든 페이지를 다 펼쳐서
감춰 놓았던 상자를 열어서
여섯 살 울고 있던 어린 엄마
열두 살 매일 뭔가 부서지던 집
열다섯 괜히 미웠던 아저씨
그리고 열여덟 멀게만 느껴졌던 꿈
넌 무슨 얘길 할까
너는 날 아직 몰라
괜찮아 당연한 거니까
부담은 갖지 마 싫다면 닫아도 돼
니 맘 알아
읽어내리기 시작하면
끝이 없겠지만 단 하나
네가 알아줬으면 하는 건
너를 만나고
내 펜이 살아난 거야
여전히 어지럽지 먼지가 수북하네
오랜만에 열어보는 책 안에는
상처가 쌓여있네
나는 늘 변했는데
너와 내 생각이 우리가 된대도
발자국은 지워지질 않아서
잉크가 번진 채로 남아있지
엄마가 많이 아팠던
고등학교 시절에 난
할 수 있는 게 없어서
그냥 방한 켠에 나를
가두고 지냈어 맘을 준 이를 버리고
술과 담배로만 몸을 채워서
그렇게 시간은 나를 빨리 감아댔고
결말인 줄 알았던
그해 겨울 널 만났고
이 자리야 난 그래 아무 의미 없다고
느낄지도 몰라 넌 내게
새 장을 쓸 용기를 준 건데
무언들 어쩔까
다시 한번 적어보는 거지
모든 페이지를 다 펼쳐서
감춰 놓았던 상자를 열어서
여섯 살 동생이 태어나던 때와
열두 살 분노를 처음 배운 때와
열다섯 남겨졌다는 두려움과
그리고 열여덟 가슴 벅찼던 꿈
넌 무슨 얘길 할까
잠들지 마
읽어줘 낯설다고 생각할까
고갤 돌리지 마
나를 봐줘
pyeolchyeo boyeojugo sipeo
kkokkkok jeobeo sumgyeonoheun maeumi
jakku twieonaoryeogo hae
wae ireohge baboga doeneun geoya
ni ape seomyeon
geuge anira geureonikka johahae
geuge daya geureohjiman naran aen
bogiboda bokjaphaeseo
ilkeojumyeon joheul tende
modeun peijireul da pyeolchyeoseo
gamchwo nohassdeon sangjareul yeoreoseo
yeoseot sal dongsaengi taeeonadeon ttaewa
yeoldu sal bunnoreul cheoeum baeun ttaewa
yeoldaseot namgyeojyeossdaneun duryeoumgwa
geurigo yeoryeoteolp gaseum beokchassdeon kkum
neon museun yaegil halkka
jamdeulji ma a a a
ilkeojwo naccseoldago saenggakhalkka
gogael dolliji ma a a a
nareul bwajwo bulssanghage boryeona
neoege geonneneun han madiga
subaek gaji mal junge goreugo gollaseo
sumangaji mamdeuri eolkhigoseolkyeo
geunama gajang geureoldeushan
hanaran geol alkka
neon yeoreoboryeogodo haji anhjanha
naraneun chaek
deuryeodaboryeogodo haji anhjanha
naraneun chaek
pyojiman hilkkeut bol ppunijanha
ilkeojumyeon joheul tende
modeun peijireul da pyeolchyeoseo
gamchwo nohassdeon sangjareul yeoreoseo
yeoseot sal ulgo issdeon eorin eomma
yeoldu sal maeil mwonga buseojideon jip
yeoldaseot gwaenhi miwossdeon ajeossi
geurigo yeoryeoteolp meolgeman neukkyeojyeossdeon kkum
neon museun yaegil halkka
neoneun nal ajik molla
gwaenchanha dangyeonhan geonikka
budameun gajji ma silhdamyeon dadado dwae
ni mam ara
ilkeonaerigi sijakhamyeon
kkeuti eopsgessjiman dan hana
nega arajwosseumyeon haneun geon
neoreul mannago
nae peni saranan geoya
yeojeonhi eojireopji meonjiga subukhane
oraenmane yeoreoboneun chaek aneneun
sangcheoga ssahyeoissne
naneun neul byeonhaessneunde
neowa nae saenggagi uriga doendaedo
baljagugeun jiwojijil anhaseo
ingkeuga beonjin chaero namaissji
eommaga manhi apassdeon
godeunghakgyo sijeore nan
hal su issneun ge eopseoseo
geunyang banghan kyeone nareul
gadugo jinaesseo mameul jun ireul beorigo
sulgwa dambaeroman momeul chaewoseo
geureohge siganeun nareul ppalli gamadaessgo
gyeolmarin jul arassdeon
geuhae gyeoul neol mannassgo
i jariya nan geurae amu uimi eopsdago
neukkiljido molla neon naege
sae jangeul sseul yonggireul jun geonde
mueondeul eojjeolkka
dasi hanbeon jeogeoboneun geoji
modeun peijireul da pyeolchyeoseo
gamchwo nohassdeon sangjareul yeoreoseo
yeoseot sal dongsaengi taeeonadeon ttaewa
yeoldu sal bunnoreul cheoeum baeun ttaewa
yeoldaseot namgyeojyeossdaneun duryeoumgwa
geurigo yeoryeoteolp gaseum beokchassdeon kkum
neon museun yaegil halkka
jamdeulji ma
ilkeojwo naccseoldago saenggakhalkka
gogael dolliji ma
nareul bwajwo
I want to show it
I feel like I have a heart
I’m going to pop out.
Why are you being such a fool?
In front of you
I do not like it.
That’s all.
More complicated than it looks
You’d better read it.
Spread out all the pages
I opened the hidden box
When my six-year-old brother was born.
When I first learned my twelve-year-old rage,
Fear of leaving fifteen
And a dream that was full of eighteen boobs
What are you going to talk about?
Do not sleep (ah ah ah)
Read it (do you think it’s strange)
Do not turn around (ah ah ah)
Look at me (pity)
A word you give to me
Choose from hundreds of horses
Thousands of hearts are entangled
I know it’s the most plausible one.
You do not even try to open it.
I do not even try to look into it.
You only see the cover.
You’d better read it.
Spread out all the pages
I opened the hidden box
A young mother who was crying six
Something broken every 12 years
Fifteen Unhappy Uncle
And eighteen dreams
What are you going to talk about?
You do not know me yet. It’s okay.
Do not take the burden.
You can close it.
When you start reading,
There is no end, but only one
I want you to know that I meet you
My pen survived.
It’s still messy.
In a book that has been open for a long time
The wound is piled up.
I’ve always changed
When you and I became our thoughts
The footprints are not erased
The ink remains blurred.
I was in high school when my mother was sick
I do not have anything to do, so I just went to the house.
I’ve kept you locked up.
I only fill myself with alcohol and cigarettes.
Time so fasted me
I met you that winter that I thought was the ending.
I’m here. I do not mean anything.
You might feel it.
I gave you courage to write a new chapter.
What are they? I’ll write it down again.
Spread out all the pages
I opened the hidden box
When my six-year-old brother was born.
When I first learned my twelve-year-old rage,
Fear of leaving fifteen
And a dream that was full of eighteen boobs
What are you going to talk about?
Do not sleep.
Read it (do you think it’s strange)
Do not turn around
Look at me