Have I ever told you this?
After a probation period lasting a few months in 2003, we, the team members, finished our first task with ease.
In 2004, we were the employees of the month with countless top results, but we couldn’t be content with just that.
We were unable to contain ourselves and we started wanting more.
2005, we embarked into the overseas market.
We thought everything would go smoothly like in had in Korea.
On our first attempt, we had the worst possible results and that is when my confidence started to lower.
A language we couldn’t even speak.
An imprisonment that they said was not an imprisonment but for our own good.
An excessive amount of solitude, tears and rage, these were what made us one.
Saying that we wouldn’t part ways no matter what happened, saying that we should always be together, saying that we should resemble one another’s good points.
We said these things within our hearts and kept running.
One day, finally, we reached that top position we had so earnestly wanted.
We took our phones and contacted our families and friends.
That day had finally come.
From that point on, everything went so well.
Records, selling hundreds and thousands.
Winning every award out there and harvesting the fruits of our labor.
It felt like even when we cried, the tears fell gracefully.
The reason we were happier than any joy or sorrow.
We who never gave up and ran until the end.
The reason we were stronger than anything else, it was because we were one.
You have already changed.
(I can’t stay in that spot forever.)
I’ll be the first to turn my back to you.
(I can’t just shed tears forever.)
Even though you keep getting further away, I’ll continue to call out your name.
(Fly me high into that sky.)
We had been running for quite some time.
When we were surrounded by the unexpected big wall, we thought, “Has it always been this dark?”
That stayed in my mind for a long time.
Once this happened, with the steady growing business expenses and increasing debts, the situation became something I could no longer handle on my own.
Our CEO had once said these words to us, “Tell me whenever you need something because we will always be like family to each other.”
“Tell me whenever you need something.”
Remembering those words, I took the courage to call him and ask him a favor.
Though I had a strange feeling inside, he was the only one I could rely on at that time because we were like a family that would always be together.
Though I had built up the courage to ask him a favor, all I got in return was a cold refusal.
His words made me so mad but I contained myself and asked him once more to help me out.
He hung up on me.
I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face.
I couldn’t think straight because he wasn’t the family I had always thought he was until that point.
When he needed us, we were family to him.
When we needed him, we were strangers to him.
More amazing things happened as time continued pass.
Hearing that we had finally struck gold overseas and brought in result so unbelievably astronomical, I walked into the office with a bounce in my step to receive my pay.
Our team members were looking at each other with enthusiasm.
We complimented each other’s hard work.
However, the statement of accounts we received said we were at a deficit.
I though I hadn’t looked at the figures correctly so I looked at them again.
Everything was listed under the expenses.
Damn it, how could have all of the money we earned go towards paying expenses?
What kind of expenses were there to make that much money vanish?
I couldn’t believe my eyes so I asked them to show me the detailed statement of accounts that I’d never seen before.
They told me they’d show it to me, but I never got to see those few sheets of paper because I did was work.
The number of questions I had increased as time passed.
The headaches grew the more our team members got together and discussed it.
If I were to ask just one last thing…
Are the things we do for the company and really and completely things that are for the company?
Sure, let’s say they were.
We, the kind souls, will that one slide.
We will forget about it, for the company and for us who have been together for so many years.
But, that isn’t right, those aren’t things you should be saying to us.
Were you seriously planning on disappointing us until the very end?
When you called, all you would talk about were our team members behind their backs, it was so difficult to trust you.
This is exactly like what our seniors told us.
Did you want to keep only the ones who would still willingly make money for you?
A senior told me that they family the company always talked about would make it hard for us to keep going if we ever left the company.
Those words refuse to leave my mind.
Though I have so much more to say, I can’t because I get so frustrated at the thought that someone will torment us even more when this song is released.
Anyway, even though life is hard, we are working hard and doing well.
We are trying to really smile though we continue to be tormented.
This effort of ours is not the effort of a mere product, it is the effort that is driven by the thought that we want to die without any regrets when we leave this earth.
Yes, in the end, it’s JYJ.
Yesterday and tomorrow, though I’ve thought about it all day, I can truly feel the difference between then and now at 25, my age.
I will now put this pen down, but my heart is at ease at this moment because I am able to feel the love of our fans.
I’m thinking about sharing the load I’ve kept within my heart all this time.
Though nothing is ever easy, my heart is at ease.
I’m happy because we have our fans as our family.
I’m always thinking of you all.
I love you.
So, could you believe in us until the end?
Could you tell us that you love us?
We will work hard until the end, so could you always stay be our side?
Because we still have you and you still have us.
I promise that I will show you everything in due time.
Yes, we are JYJ.
You have raised the palace walls and firmly closed the door.
They say that love is not imprisonment, love is letting go so that you can fly freely, but I don’t even expect that much.
For we, who you have made, are not even worth half of half of that.
We are nothing but eternal frogs living in a well.
Though I still have much to say, I will end it here
